nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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