so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
