Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
