just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
