Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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