do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You ruined the universe
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
