Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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