then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
50% drunk capacity currently
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
