Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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