is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
