drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
