Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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