ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
My penis needs a shock collar
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
