Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
