there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
