cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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