No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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