possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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