I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
