I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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