Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
