he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
