I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
