and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
