its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
