I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize