she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
