Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
