seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize