I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
