she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
