I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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