there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i just google imaged poop.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
