Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
