Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
