Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
wow bdsm is so cute
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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