eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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