I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
