I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Randomize
