I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
