I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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