how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
