I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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