Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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