there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
