I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
