Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
