i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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