You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
