I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
