He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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