Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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