Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Gay?
German.
Pity.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
