this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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