I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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