**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
