90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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