She went from zero to smokin in five shots
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
