Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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