I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
