Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
