what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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